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Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Don't Mess With China
Bin Laden said: China is the world's only country we absolutely cannot mess with
The reason is this: al-Qaeda terrorists had made 8 attacks on the Chinese with the following results:
One person was to explode a bomb in Beijing Xizhimen (the main northwest gate of Beijing) but he lost his way in the three-dimensional traffic bridge
One person in Shanghai was to take a bus to explode a suicide bomb in the bus, but it was so crowded he could not get into a bus for two hours
One person was to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but found that the bomb remote control was stolen
One person wanted to bomb government buildings in Chengdu, but was stopped at the door by the security staff and arrested as an East Turkistan separatist, and was beaten and interrogated
One person succeeded in bombing a Hebei mine, with hundreds of people dead and wounded, and then returned to the al-Qaeda center, but even after six months, failed to see any news reports on the success of the bombing (due to news blackout by the China government), was considered by the organization to claim a false victory and was executed (this is the most pathetic!);
One person had tried to bomb Guangzhou, but as he came off the train, a motorcycle robber (flying car robber) snatched his bag (containing the bomb) from him
One person who arrived in Xi'an lost contact, and was later found at the hospital in a coma. Doctors said it was the result of him eating not only "black-hearted" food products, but he also drank fake alcohol, and would possibly become a "vegetable" (vegetative state)
Later, bin Laden tried to send a female terrorist to blow up Hainan Island, but she was cheated into prostitution
Finally, bin Laden have to say: Remember! ! China is the world's only country we absolutely cannot mess with!
The reason is this: al-Qaeda terrorists had made 8 attacks on the Chinese with the following results:
One person was to explode a bomb in Beijing Xizhimen (the main northwest gate of Beijing) but he lost his way in the three-dimensional traffic bridge
One person in Shanghai was to take a bus to explode a suicide bomb in the bus, but it was so crowded he could not get into a bus for two hours
One person was to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but found that the bomb remote control was stolen
One person wanted to bomb government buildings in Chengdu, but was stopped at the door by the security staff and arrested as an East Turkistan separatist, and was beaten and interrogated
One person succeeded in bombing a Hebei mine, with hundreds of people dead and wounded, and then returned to the al-Qaeda center, but even after six months, failed to see any news reports on the success of the bombing (due to news blackout by the China government), was considered by the organization to claim a false victory and was executed (this is the most pathetic!);
One person had tried to bomb Guangzhou, but as he came off the train, a motorcycle robber (flying car robber) snatched his bag (containing the bomb) from him
One person who arrived in Xi'an lost contact, and was later found at the hospital in a coma. Doctors said it was the result of him eating not only "black-hearted" food products, but he also drank fake alcohol, and would possibly become a "vegetable" (vegetative state)
Later, bin Laden tried to send a female terrorist to blow up Hainan Island, but she was cheated into prostitution
Finally, bin Laden have to say: Remember! ! China is the world's only country we absolutely cannot mess with!
Everything's big in Texas
A recently retired Nebraska farmer went to Dallas for the first vacation he had taken in his entire working life. He checked into a downtown hotel, but when he got to his room he immediately called the front desk.
The farmer said, "This here bed kin sleep the whole Cornhuskers football team! I only wanted a regular-sized bed."
The clerk responded, "That is a regular size bed, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
The farmer went to the hotel's bar and ordered a draught beer. When he was served, he said to the bartender, "This is as big as a milkin' pitcher. I only asked for a glass of beer!"
The bartender answered, "That is a glass of beer, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
When the waiter in the hotel's dining room brought out the steak the farmer ordered for dinner, the farmer exclaimed, "That steak's as big as my thigh, the baked potato's bigger `n a watermelon, and this corn-on-a-cob's as big as a baseball bat! Where'd this come from?"
The waiter replied, "It's all local, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
When the waiter asked the farmer if he wanted to see the dessert menu, the farmer said he might be able to squeeze something in, but after consuming all that food and drink he needed to use the restroom first.
The waiter directed him to go down the hall to the first door on the right.
By this time, the farmer was quite inebriated and mistakenly went through the first door on the left. He walked across the tiled floor and fell into the swimming pool. When the farmer came sputtering to the surface, he yelled out, "For gawd's sakes, please don't flush!"
The farmer said, "This here bed kin sleep the whole Cornhuskers football team! I only wanted a regular-sized bed."
The clerk responded, "That is a regular size bed, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
The farmer went to the hotel's bar and ordered a draught beer. When he was served, he said to the bartender, "This is as big as a milkin' pitcher. I only asked for a glass of beer!"
The bartender answered, "That is a glass of beer, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
When the waiter in the hotel's dining room brought out the steak the farmer ordered for dinner, the farmer exclaimed, "That steak's as big as my thigh, the baked potato's bigger `n a watermelon, and this corn-on-a-cob's as big as a baseball bat! Where'd this come from?"
The waiter replied, "It's all local, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in Texas!"
When the waiter asked the farmer if he wanted to see the dessert menu, the farmer said he might be able to squeeze something in, but after consuming all that food and drink he needed to use the restroom first.
The waiter directed him to go down the hall to the first door on the right.
By this time, the farmer was quite inebriated and mistakenly went through the first door on the left. He walked across the tiled floor and fell into the swimming pool. When the farmer came sputtering to the surface, he yelled out, "For gawd's sakes, please don't flush!"
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
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