Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Revenge of the Cat

Cat In Bin



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Anything to pass an exam

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours.

She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.

”I would do anything to pass this exam,” she says.

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

“I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything…”

He returns her gaze, “Anything?”

“Anything.” She says

His voice softens, “Anything?”

“Anything,” she repeats again.

His voice turns to a whisper.

“Would you … study?”

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Friday, August 27, 2010

A stove for the 21st century



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Chef Goes Berserk, Gets Ko’d!



“A Florida chef unleashes his outrage in the kitchen — just moments after he learns he’s been fired! Shocking public record security camera footage shows how he stormed into the kitchen with a keyboard in hand and smashed it against a wall in front of staff. Stunned workers backed away as he hurled insults at them and flung plates filled with food to the floor. He even throws a hot pan off the grill, then showers the room with a bag of flour. Incredibly, things come to a halt when an unidentified man rushes in and knocks the disgruntled chef to the ground in one punch.”


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Tripod Fish



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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Expenses

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10
and that continues for a year.
Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $7.50
“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”
A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $5.
“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor.
“First you give me $10 every day, then $7,50 and now only $5.
What’s the problem?”
“Well,” the man says,
“last year my eldest son went to university.
It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs.
This year my eldest daughter also went to university,
so I had to cut my expenses even further.”
“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.
“Four,” the man replies.
“Well,” says the beggar,
“I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”

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Warning Signs



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History Of Search Engines

Internet Search Engines: History & List of Search Engines..

Infographic byWordStream Internet Marketing



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Splatter Zone



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Monday, August 23, 2010

Oliver Laric



“Versions” is a visual essay by Oliver Laric, investigating the re-appropriation and manipulation of images in our culture.


Watch video here.

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Don't come any closer!!!



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Blood : Infographics

Medical Assistant Schools
[Source: Medical Assistant Schools]

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Pencil carvings




More pics here

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Mistress

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don’t get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus’s in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Water Hair Formation



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Golf Game

Three golfers, Jesus, Moses and an old man, get to the 18th tee.
It’s all tied.
All three have the same score
.Jesus’ second shot goes into the water and lands on a rock.
He walks on the water out to the ball and hits it within a foot of the hole
Moses` second shot also goes into the water and sinks.
He parts the water and then hits his ball within a foot of the hole.
The old man also hits his second shot into the water,
but it lands on a water lilly.
A frog comes out of the water and takes the ball.
Just then a bird swoops down and grabs the frog and carries him,
with the ball, right over the 18th hole
where the frog drops the ball right into the cup.
Moses turns to Jesus and says,
“You know, I really hate playing with your Dad.”

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Funny Panda Ads



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Simplest way to solve Cobb's problem in Inception...



Someone should incept that idea into him.

Thanks Unreality

Monday, August 16, 2010

Float down the stairs

Photobucket

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Ballpoint Pen Self Reflection



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What Getting a PhD Means



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Facebook Card



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Jesus Cat



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The Circle of No Life



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Ready for parenthood?



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My Own Drug



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5 Reasons to Skip the Diamond Engagement Ring

Or so the diamond industry would like you to believe. The sole purpose of this appealing fantasy is to drum up sales. Once you look past the mythos of the diamond engagement ring, you'll see that it's not much more than a shiny rock. (See also 24 secrets from a 24-year-old happy marriage.) Here are five good reasons to skip the diamond engagement ring.

1. It isn't an ancient tradition -- just marketing. For all intents and purposes, "A Diamond is Forever" and the idea of a diamond engagement ring is Sprite's "Obey Your Thirst" and Nike's "Just Do It." It is Gary Dahl's "Pet Rock." De Beers controlled supply by buying up and closing down any diamond mine discovered, and they controlled demand by making it sentimental. Although the campaign is less than 70 years old, it has made the diamond engagement ring the ultimate symbol of how much the relationship, the girl, and love itself is worth.

2. Diamonds are rare! Or not. It's true, diamonds are abundant. For generations, De Beers had stockpiled most of the world's diamond supply and effectively monopolized the industry. Their dominance has weakened over the last decade, but De Beers and its competitors still control the supply of diamonds entering the market. While most gems are valued based on their rarity, diamonds are different. Their scarcity is artificial -- and so is their value.

[Also see U.S. News's list of The 100 Best Mutual Funds for the Long Term, and use our Mutual Fund Score to find the best investments for you.]

3. Other options look just as impressive and cost much less. Moissanite looks just like a diamond; the difference is undetectable with the naked eye. In fact, moissanite is actually more brilliant. If, for whatever reason, you're stuck on the diamond ring idea, synthetic or "cultured" diamonds are the real deal. They're made in a machine that replicates the environmental forces that make diamonds. They're real diamonds, only with less flaws. A synthetic 2-carat pink diamond costs just a few thousand dollars, and a 1-carat moissanite ring is under $1000.

4. You can invest in something more meaningful/useful/fun than a piece of jewelry. Many women simply enjoy having a beautiful collection -- and that's fine (if you can afford it). For most people, though, a diamond engagement ring is fun to show off for about 30 seconds. But it's special, right? Because it marks your engagement and symbolizes your love? Remember, that's De Beers's marketing campaign talking. Three-plus months' salary would be better spent on furnishing your home, an amazing trip, or your future kids' college funds!

5. It's hard to get around the ethical issues surrounding the diamond industry. Terrorist groups use conflict/blood diamonds to finance their activities. Rebel groups use them to fuel conflict and civil wars. In these conflict zones, children are being used as soldiers. The Kimberley Process is an agreement that was established to prevent conflict diamonds from getting into the market, but the self-policing system is far from perfect. One way to fool the Kimberley Process is to smuggle and mix conflict diamonds with legally traded ones before being certified -- and you, the buyer, would be none the wiser.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

One Ball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?" he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.

"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"

The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"What happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay, too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."

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Super Mario Soda



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Nothing To Do?



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Boyfriend becomes "The Bailer"



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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Videos Games



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eBay - The Giant Marketplace

Online University
Via: Online University

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Moments Before



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USDA Agent

A rather cocky U.S. Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer in New Hampshire.

He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm.'

The old farmer said, 'OK, but don't go in that field right over yonder.'

The Agriculture representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the United States Government with me. See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.

Half an hour later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull.

The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out:

'Your badge! Your badge! Show him your badge!'

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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Comfortable Underwear

When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home.

One item on the list was “comfortable underwear.”

Worried I’d make the wrong choice, I asked, “How will I know which ones to pick?”

“Hold them up and imagine them on me,” she said. “If you smile, put them back.”

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Makeshift Grill



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When Furniture Attacks



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The Starship Enterprise Encounters the Death Star



The Universe is huge, but I guess they are bound to meet each other soon or later.

For Starwars and StarTrek fans...

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