Thursday, March 31, 2011

Jimmy Kimmel finds the missing bronx snake


Great, Now All I Need Is A Pair Of Scissors


Screwing the planet



sesame street – angry birds


Google Street Peek




I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you


Retirement Age Around The World

I guess in Singapore, there's no such thing as retirement....


Order In Court

man is in court for murder and the judge says, ”You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

Then a voice at the back of the court says, ”You bastard.”

The judge continues, ”You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.”

Again the voice at the back of the court says, ”You bastard.”

The judge says, ”Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! What is the problem?”

The man at the back of the court says, ”Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!”


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Archiving to CD-ROM


IT geeks

Two Information Technology geeks were chatting in a pub after work.
"Guess what, mate," says the first IT guy,
"yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde girl in a bar."
"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.
"Well, I invited her over to my place,
we had a couple of drinks,
we got into the mood
and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off."
"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
"I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her
and put her on my desk next to my new laptop."

You got a new laptop!!


Nuclear Boy

A Japanese cartoon explains the situation at the Fukushima nuclear plant, in bathroom terms that children can understand.


The Evolution of Disney Princesses


Captain Awesome


Thursday, March 17, 2011

Rob a bank!


Going to Heaven

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


How Long Do Animals Live?


Grapes to Raisin

Watch grapes turn into raisins in only 30 seconds, through the magic of time-lapse photography. This video follows a bunch of grapes over three months. You can make raisins yourself, in a week or so, but you should separate the raisins to maximize the drying surface and put them in a warm place, like in direct sunlight.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Been watching too many horror films?

Not in English but this video looks at how people react when they come around a corner in a hotel and just see a little girl standing there in a white dress.


The U.S. Presidential Motorcade



After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car is a hurry, and ran home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On the third date, the pair returned to the country road. This time, Mary didn't get home until very late. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part."


Super Mario Bros w/ REAL SOUND


The law of diminishing concern


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What I learned from Left 4 Dead

If pic is too small, click here.

The Shower Faucets

Totally agree...






Snakes Bites Woman's Breast

<a href="" target="_new" title="Snake Bites Woman&#39;s Boob">Video: Snake Bites Woman&#39;s Boob</a>

Don't play with snakes....

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Cover Orange

Looks like someone forgot to cover the peach

Play the game here.


Space Shuttle Launch: Viewed From an Airplane


More than you wanted to know about cat sex


Siamese twins walk into a bar…

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us; we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday yet, lads?”

“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees.

“Ah, England!” says the bartender. “Wonderful country… the history, the beer, the culture…”

“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh Jim? And we can’t stand the English – they’re so arrogant and rude.”

“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.

“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”


Infographics - Porn

Porn Addiction in America
Via: Online Psychology Degree

Footballer Kicks Defenseless Owl

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Morning snooze


Super Fast Biker


World’s lousiest bank robbery took place in China

00:22 The man walked into the bank.
00:27 The man put on a mask over his head, while the two clerks were chitchatting.
00:30 Bank clerks screamed at the masked man and left their seats to reach for the phone over the counter and set off the alarm.
00:38 The men began hammering the glass with a hatchet.
00:49 One clerk fetched a stun baton from a cabinet and held it tight in her hands.
01:28 The clerk with the stun baton reached the police over her cellphone. She said, indistinctly, “Hurry over!”
02:59 Two clerks took away things, perhaps cash or official stamp, from the desk drawers and carried a briefcase with them.
03:15 The man made his first attempt to pass through the small opening on the glass.
03:33 He kept hammering after the failure.
03:46 Another customer was coming in before he realized what was happening and retreated.
04:23 He finally got to the other side of the glass and began rummaging.
04:51 He found two stacks of cash money and stuffed them into his pocket.
05:08 Two armed policemen arrived.
05:37 Policemen grabbed the robber’s foot while yelling repeatedly “Freeze!”
06:06 One policeman fired a shot at the robber but missed him.
06:09 The robber escaped through one back door. One policeman ran out from the front door to catch him.

Thanks AsteroidS