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Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Mating Season
Staring at an empty cage, a zoo visitor asks,
"Where are all the monkeys?"
"It's mating season," the keeper replies. "They're inside."
"Do you think they'd come out for peanuts?"
The keeper answered, "Probably not."
"Why not?" persists the visitor.
"Would you?"
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"Where are all the monkeys?"
"It's mating season," the keeper replies. "They're inside."
"Do you think they'd come out for peanuts?"
The keeper answered, "Probably not."
"Why not?" persists the visitor.
"Would you?"
via
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Dean
An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."
The dean looks at them and says,
"I should have taken the money."
via
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."
The dean looks at them and says,
"I should have taken the money."
via
Thursday, September 23, 2010
A Classic Elephant Story
In the mid 1990's, a man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
duh.... =S
via
As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
duh.... =S
via
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Fish bowl sink
The Fishbowl Sink is a concept from designer Yan Lu, created to make you think about how much water you use when you are washing your hands. The sink has a fishbowl on top of it, and the more water you use, the lower the level in the fishbowl gets.
Once the fishbowl reaches a certain level it will fill back up, so the water never goes too low for the goldfish. The water you wash your hands with isn't actually from the fish bowl but it is designed to look like that.
More here.
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"True Love Ways" Buddy Holly
Charles Hardin Holley (September 7, 1936 – February 3, 1959) known professionally as Buddy Holly, was an American singer-songwriter and a pioneer of rock and roll. Although his success lasted only a year and a half before his death in an airplane crash, Holly is described by critic Bruce Elder as "the single most influential creative force in early rock and roll."
Nice song...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
5 Bucks Hooker
A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside.
A hooker comes along and says to him, "Like to come home with me, buddy?"
"For how much?" asks the man.
"One hundred dollars," the hooker answers.
"I'll give you five bucks," he replies.
The hooker swears at him and walks away.
A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk.
As they round the corner, there stands the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says, "HA!… see what you get for five bucks?"
A hooker comes along and says to him, "Like to come home with me, buddy?"
"For how much?" asks the man.
"One hundred dollars," the hooker answers.
"I'll give you five bucks," he replies.
The hooker swears at him and walks away.
A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk.
As they round the corner, there stands the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says, "HA!… see what you get for five bucks?"
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Drinking For Three
This guy went into the bar Friday night and ordered three beers. In fact, every Friday night he went into the bar and ordered three beers and drank them all by himself. Three beers...every Friday night. Not 2. Never 4. Always 3.
Well, the bartender couldn't figure this out. Without fail this guy always came in. The bartender finally said to the guy, "Every Friday night you come in here and have three beers. There must be a story to this. You never order 2 beers, or 4 beers, always 3."
The guy said, "Yes, there is a story. You see, me and my two buddies always went out for a beer on Friday night when we were in Vietnam. One night while we were drinking we decided that we would continue doing this when we returned to the States. We also decided that if one of us didn't make it, the other two would drink the third one's beer. And if two didn't make it, the third guy would drink the other two beers. The other two didn't make it back so I'm drinking theirs."
The bartender felt bad.
Well, the next Friday night the guy came back into the bar as usual, but only ordered two beers. The bartender couldn't believe it.
From then on, Friday after Friday, this guy now ordered only two drinks.
The bartender was so puzzled he just had to ask the guy about it. The bartender said to him, "I notice you've only been ordering two beers for the last few weeks. There has to be a story here."
The guy said, "Yes, indeed there is a story. You see, I joined the Mormon church and I can't drink beer any more."
via
Well, the bartender couldn't figure this out. Without fail this guy always came in. The bartender finally said to the guy, "Every Friday night you come in here and have three beers. There must be a story to this. You never order 2 beers, or 4 beers, always 3."
The guy said, "Yes, there is a story. You see, me and my two buddies always went out for a beer on Friday night when we were in Vietnam. One night while we were drinking we decided that we would continue doing this when we returned to the States. We also decided that if one of us didn't make it, the other two would drink the third one's beer. And if two didn't make it, the third guy would drink the other two beers. The other two didn't make it back so I'm drinking theirs."
The bartender felt bad.
Well, the next Friday night the guy came back into the bar as usual, but only ordered two beers. The bartender couldn't believe it.
From then on, Friday after Friday, this guy now ordered only two drinks.
The bartender was so puzzled he just had to ask the guy about it. The bartender said to him, "I notice you've only been ordering two beers for the last few weeks. There has to be a story here."
The guy said, "Yes, indeed there is a story. You see, I joined the Mormon church and I can't drink beer any more."
via
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
The Baggy Rack
Optical Illusion To Slow Down Drivers
Marking the back to school term, Preventable (a traffic safety organization from Canada) together with the District of West Vancouver have launched an optical illusion geared to making drivers slow down at high-risk intersections.
The optical illusion of an illustrated girl chasing a ball has been placed on a road in Vancouver. There are signs leading up to it saying 'you're probably not expecting kids to run out on the road' to prepare drivers.
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Saturday, September 11, 2010
Ah-Choo! The Uncommon Life of Your Common Cold
Perhaps the only thing more prevalent than colds is the volume of misinformation about them. Science writer Jennifer Ackerman, however, was determined to get to the bottom of what she calls the "petty plague." She's certainly dedicated: for her latest book—Ah-Choo! The Uncommon Life of Your Common Cold—she volunteered to be infected with a cold virus. Having endured her maladies, Ackerman talks to TIME about whether we'll ever have a cure, why you probably don't want to "boost" your immune system, and the medicinal merits of good old chicken soup.
There are so many misconceptions about colds, including the one about the weather. You don't actually catch cold from the cold—
This has been a really stubborn myth. It has been put to rest by lots of solid studies. So, Mom, relax, it's ok to go outside with wet hair. Cold doesn't cause colds, viruses do. Colds are more common in the fall and winter because the cooler, wetter weather drives people inside, and viruses can more easily jump from one person to the next.
For the sake of research, you actually volunteered to become infected with a cold. Was the experience everything you thought it would be?
Well, and more. It was an odd experience to know that you're going to get sick. The cold itself was supposed to be mild, but in my family colds tend to migrate to the chest. It was a good ten days before I was back to normal again.
Is it generally accepted that some people are genetically more prone to colds?
It's an open question: is there such a thing as a "cold constitution"? Scientists are really interested in this idea that if you infect people with the virus, everybody will get infected, but only 75% of people will actually come down with the cold. If we could do a big genetic study, we might learn exactly why that is. But right now, it looks like there's a kind of irony here: the people who don't experience symptoms probably aren't making the inflammatory agents that other people are making. In a way, their immune response is weaker than people who come down with the symptoms.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about colds?
Probably that susceptibility to colds requires a kind of weakened immune system. Dietary supplements and cold preventive remedies say, "boost your immune system so that you can ward off cold," and it's interesting, because if you want to diminish your cold symptoms, boosting elements of your immune system may be the last thing you want to do.
Your book's appendix of purported remedies is disheartening. Everything appears useless. Were you surprised at how few things have been proven to work?
Yes. And I was disabused of the notion that the zinc lozenges that my family has always used actually had some effect. We really are a pretty gullible species, and in a lot of these cases, if any of these remedies work, it may be due to the force of our own beliefs, the placebo effect.
Will there ever be a cure for the common cold?
They're still working hard on drugs, and doing gene studies looking at what factors make people susceptible. I'm an optimist. At some point we may have something that actually nips a cold in the bud. It would be a great thing if somebody in the household gets a cold, everybody else takes a nasal spray and nobody else gets sick. I feel like we're not too far off from something like that. There are some promising drugs in the pipeline. But it's been a really tough nut to crack.
Talk to me about chicken soup.
Ah, chicken soup. A researcher at the University of Nebraska looked at chicken soup and its effect on inflammatory cells in a petri dish. He found that chicken soup actually does have some anti-inflammatory effect, and anything that has an anti-inflammatory effect might, in theory, reduce symptoms. However, this has never been proven in people, so it's still speculative. But chicken soup has been touted as a cold remedy for more than a thousand years. I feel like just the hot broth, the fact that it's comfort food, may actually make it kind of healing. The idea that somebody would make you chicken soup—
That goes along with what you mention about the power of empathy?
Empathy can actually cut short a cold by a full day. Imagine, that's better than any drug on the market, and there aren't any side effects.
Read more here
There are so many misconceptions about colds, including the one about the weather. You don't actually catch cold from the cold—
This has been a really stubborn myth. It has been put to rest by lots of solid studies. So, Mom, relax, it's ok to go outside with wet hair. Cold doesn't cause colds, viruses do. Colds are more common in the fall and winter because the cooler, wetter weather drives people inside, and viruses can more easily jump from one person to the next.
For the sake of research, you actually volunteered to become infected with a cold. Was the experience everything you thought it would be?
Well, and more. It was an odd experience to know that you're going to get sick. The cold itself was supposed to be mild, but in my family colds tend to migrate to the chest. It was a good ten days before I was back to normal again.
Is it generally accepted that some people are genetically more prone to colds?
It's an open question: is there such a thing as a "cold constitution"? Scientists are really interested in this idea that if you infect people with the virus, everybody will get infected, but only 75% of people will actually come down with the cold. If we could do a big genetic study, we might learn exactly why that is. But right now, it looks like there's a kind of irony here: the people who don't experience symptoms probably aren't making the inflammatory agents that other people are making. In a way, their immune response is weaker than people who come down with the symptoms.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about colds?
Probably that susceptibility to colds requires a kind of weakened immune system. Dietary supplements and cold preventive remedies say, "boost your immune system so that you can ward off cold," and it's interesting, because if you want to diminish your cold symptoms, boosting elements of your immune system may be the last thing you want to do.
Your book's appendix of purported remedies is disheartening. Everything appears useless. Were you surprised at how few things have been proven to work?
Yes. And I was disabused of the notion that the zinc lozenges that my family has always used actually had some effect. We really are a pretty gullible species, and in a lot of these cases, if any of these remedies work, it may be due to the force of our own beliefs, the placebo effect.
Will there ever be a cure for the common cold?
They're still working hard on drugs, and doing gene studies looking at what factors make people susceptible. I'm an optimist. At some point we may have something that actually nips a cold in the bud. It would be a great thing if somebody in the household gets a cold, everybody else takes a nasal spray and nobody else gets sick. I feel like we're not too far off from something like that. There are some promising drugs in the pipeline. But it's been a really tough nut to crack.
Talk to me about chicken soup.
Ah, chicken soup. A researcher at the University of Nebraska looked at chicken soup and its effect on inflammatory cells in a petri dish. He found that chicken soup actually does have some anti-inflammatory effect, and anything that has an anti-inflammatory effect might, in theory, reduce symptoms. However, this has never been proven in people, so it's still speculative. But chicken soup has been touted as a cold remedy for more than a thousand years. I feel like just the hot broth, the fact that it's comfort food, may actually make it kind of healing. The idea that somebody would make you chicken soup—
That goes along with what you mention about the power of empathy?
Empathy can actually cut short a cold by a full day. Imagine, that's better than any drug on the market, and there aren't any side effects.
Read more here
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tiny Cardboard Box People Appear All Over Singapore
Designer Yeongwoo Kim created this Eco Urinal where men can pee and wash in the same stand. What Kim has done is incorporated the wash basin just above the spot you take aim to pee.
The reason cited is that you'll save a water flush cycle, coz when you rinse your hand after the job, the same gray water can be used to cleanse the urinal basin.
via
Chivalry Vs. Sexism As Viewed By Women
I think the best way to settle all this chivalry and sexism business is to pay women more money and get them to start paying for dinner and for men to start carrying the 2 lbs boxes and get paid less. I for one wouldn’t mind that. It would sure be cheaper to live and I wouldn’t have to do as much heavy lifting. And as I see is, the loss in wages would be made up in the free dinners. Sounds like a win win for both sides.
via
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Optimus Prime Vs. Jesus Christ
Number of resurrections probably include other stories he's in. Only remembered he died in Transformer: The Movie (the cartoon)
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Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Pick-Up lines guaranteed to get you slapped
1. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.
2. Nice legs…what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
7. I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
8. I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside the drug store, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
18. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. My name is [insert]. Remember that,you’ll be screaming it later.
21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
22. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
23. My friend wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.”
24. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
26. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
27. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why,don’t you like pizza?
28. Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? no? Can I?
30. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
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2. Nice legs…what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
7. I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
8. I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside the drug store, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
18. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. My name is [insert]. Remember that,you’ll be screaming it later.
21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
22. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
23. My friend wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.”
24. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
26. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
27. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why,don’t you like pizza?
28. Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? no? Can I?
30. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
via
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
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