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Sunday, October 31, 2010
New Love
Ed and Dorothy met while on vacation and Ed fell head over heels in 'Like' with her but after a couple of weeks wherein Ed took Dorothy out to various dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, etc., he was convinced that it was true love.
And so....on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue.
'It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut, Ed said to his newfound lady friend, 'I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's going to be a problem, you'd better say so now!'
Dorothy took a deep breath and responded: 'Since we're being honest with each other, here goes....you need to know that I'm a hooker'
'I see', Ed replied, looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in thought....
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Then he continued, 'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.'
And so....on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue.
'It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut, Ed said to his newfound lady friend, 'I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's going to be a problem, you'd better say so now!'
Dorothy took a deep breath and responded: 'Since we're being honest with each other, here goes....you need to know that I'm a hooker'
'I see', Ed replied, looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in thought....
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Then he continued, 'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.'
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Crafty old man
An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over… ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000′ the jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it..’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, ‘by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,’ he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man..
‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about my weekend!’
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He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over… ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000′ the jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it..’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, ‘by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,’ he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man..
‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about my weekend!’
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21 Most Remarkable Natural Phenomena
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Fainting Goats
In Tennessee, USA, on some farms you can find fainting goats. There is even the annual "Goats Music and More Festival" in Marshal County. Of course, there is a reason behind their name. The muscles of fainting goats freeze for roughly 10 seconds when the goat is startled.
Usually, younger goats will stiffen and fall over, older goats learn to spread their legs or lean against something when startled, and often they continue to run about in an awkward, stiff-legged shuffle.
The characteristic is caused by a hereditary genetic disorder called myotonia congenita. But when the goat in this condition, it doesn’t feel any pain. Even though its body is paralyzed, it remains conscious.
These goats are also called nervous goats, stiff leg goats and wooden leg goats.
More pics and video here.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
7 Year Old
Tom in deep thoughts is sitting calm, very quiet.
Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom?"
"Please don't ask."
"I am your childhood friend. Talk to me."
"My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant."
"That's not possible."
"No, he did."
"How is that humanly possible?"
"EASY! He punctured all my condoms!"
Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom?"
"Please don't ask."
"I am your childhood friend. Talk to me."
"My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant."
"That's not possible."
"No, he did."
"How is that humanly possible?"
"EASY! He punctured all my condoms!"
Privacy curtain
The workshop of Niklas Roy from Berlin, Germany, is located in an old storefront with a big window facing towards the street. In an attempt to create more privacy inside, he has decided to install a small but smart curtain in that window.
The curtain is smaller than the window, but an additional surveillance camera and an old laptop provide it with intelligence: The computer sees the pedestrians and locates them. With a motor attached, it positions the curtain exactly where the pedestrians are.
The curtain is smaller than the window, but an additional surveillance camera and an old laptop provide it with intelligence: The computer sees the pedestrians and locates them. With a motor attached, it positions the curtain exactly where the pedestrians are.
The Cingino Dam in northern Italy
These are Alpine ibex on the Cingino Dam in northern Italy. The ibex are a type of wild mountain goat which are excellent climbers and typically live in steep, rocky terrain at higher altitudes, so the alpine environment of the Diga dal Cingino is not an unusual habitat in which to find them
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Japanese Banking Crisis
Uncertainty has now hit the Japanese banking sector:
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.
Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank has had to cut its staff in half.
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
And analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal!
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In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.
Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank has had to cut its staff in half.
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop.
And analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal!
via
Lamaze class
A couple just started their Lamaze class
and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand
- to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying,
"This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant,
the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands,
he turned to his wife and said,
"Honey, pick up that pen for me."
via
and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand
- to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying,
"This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant,
the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands,
he turned to his wife and said,
"Honey, pick up that pen for me."
via
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Never Turn Your Back on the Ball
Hilarious incident from the King’s Cup in Morocco. During a penalty shootout, the goalkeeper is able to stop the shot, and immediately turns to the fans and celebrates. While he’s doing that, the ball, on a spin from the save, slowly makes his way into the goal. The player who shot the penalty, seemingly defeated at first, quickly points to the ref and alerts him on what’s happening. The ref says “Goal”. The player celebrates. The goalkeeper? Kind of a dumb-ass.
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