Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
You're Not the Boss of Me
The key word is "OR". Choosing to sleep on the crouch is more logical as it requires less effort and allows you to continue gaming throughout the night.
via
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Movie Theater
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.''
The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient. ''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.''
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly. ''All right buddy, what's your name?''
''Sam,'' the man moaned.
''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked.
''The balcony.''
via
The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient. ''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.''
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly. ''All right buddy, what's your name?''
''Sam,'' the man moaned.
''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked.
''The balcony.''
via
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Infinity Chilli
Measuring a mouth-burning 1.17 million on the Scoville Scale (a measurement of the spicy heat of a chili pepper), this is the the hottest chilli in the world, and it was grown by accident in Lincolnshire, England.
Dubbed the 'Infinity Chilli' the fiery food has been tested by boffins who say it's considerably hotter than previous title holder, the Bhut Jolokia, from India.
It was grown by Nick Woods who runs 'Fire Foods' from his home and says one day he notices the crossbreed chilli in his greenhouse. Intrigued, he decided to sample it, but he soon regretted the move when a powerful burning sensation hit the back of his throat and was so strong he couldn't talk.
I wonder how the level 30 hotness buffalo wings compared with this chilli.
via
I Wanna Si (Die in Hokkien) Part 2 MRT Version [Under the Sea Parody]
The lyrics is good, but the singing can be better. lol
Thanks Unreality
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Which square is darker: A or B?
In fact A and B are the same color (#787878), but you can’t see it even when you know this. To prove it to myself I had to open this picture in an image editor and actually move one square over another to see it was the same.
Anatomical Model Sleeping Bag
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
How a song from the 2005 Civilization IV won a 2011 Grammy
Civilization IV is now the first game to have won a Grammy... sort of. The game's theme music, "Baba Yetu," won a Grammy for Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s) at Sunday's awards show, despite the game being released in 2005.
Read More here.
Nurse Karen
Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had moved out of state.
They interviewed Nurse Karen and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Karen go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and gets thing backward. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hours, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him. I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To find Karen, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"
via
They interviewed Nurse Karen and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Karen go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and gets thing backward. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hours, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him. I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To find Karen, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"
via
Australia vs. Texas
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
via
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
via
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Reunion
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" Read on:
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm...or could he????
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes, yes, I did! I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1969. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled son-of-a-bitch asked, "What did you teach?"
via
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm...or could he????
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes, yes, I did! I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1969. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled son-of-a-bitch asked, "What did you teach?"
via
The Football Star
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.
"I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football ........ and sure enough the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the SuperBowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"
"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"
"No! let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"
via
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.
"I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football ........ and sure enough the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the SuperBowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"
"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"
"No! let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"
via
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
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